Publican Gullican lived by the sea He was happy and jolly as landlords should be His pub had a lounge with a colour TV Where his patrons could sit and drink comfortably Oh he lived his life happily with his wife Confident he'd always be a publican down by the sea Publican Gullican one day in May opened his pub on a bank holiday Polished his horse-brasses shiny and new then through the door came a scooter-head crew 'Hey fat man give us some beer' 'We don't serve your sort in here' 'Serve us or see what you'll get We'll smash your colour TV set' Oh he didn't think twice He reached down for a knife Meant to scare them from his bar Didn't mean to go this far Publican Gullican lives by the sea on the Isle of Wight at Her Majesty's courtesy Misses his home and his colour TV Dreams of the time he was free Oh Publican Gullican what have you done?