Tom: D D A/C# Bm A Some time ago, at Santa's place up in the old North Pole Em Bm E A There lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him Joel D A Bm F#m Joel, Joel, the lump of coal happy as a lump can be G D G A He just wants to keep Santa warm and make the elves cozy D A/C# Bm A But Santa Claus had other plans for Joel one fateful day Em Bm E A "Joel, you're just the lump I need come join me on my sleigh" D A Bm F#m Joel, Joel, the lump of coal heart leapt up with joy, G D G A B7/D# I'll soon be Santa's present to a lucky girl or boy Bridge Em D A G We'll laugh and play together and hold each other tight D A G D/F# Snuggle under clean white sheets when we go to sleep at night Em D A G Then Santa's elves all laughed at Joel, "you're in for a surprise D A G D/F# You're not a special Christmas gift you're just a booby prize Em D A G What kid would ever want you? You're filthy as can be D A G Now you have to go and live with one who's been naughty" D G E/G# A A#dim7 Bm "But I make heat, poor Joel cried and electricity" D7/C A7 "You pollute the air with CO2 and mercury" Verse 2 D A Bm F#m Joel, Joel, the lump of coal fell down upon his knees G D G A "I don't wanna live with a naughty kid don't make me, Santa, please" D A/C# Bm A But Santa laughed his jolly laugh, "Ho, Ho, you stupid lump Em Bm E A You're just the thing to teach this brat that Santa ain't no chump" D A/C# Bm A So off they flew and, before he knew Joel was in a sack Em Bm E A He cried and yelled to Santa Claus, "why don't we just go back?" Bridge Em D And then came Christmas morning A G And, much to Joel's surprise (Much to Joel's surprise) D A He saw a boy with the saddest face G D/F# And tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes) Em D He picked Joel up and held him A G And said, "you can be my friend (Hey man, let's be friends) D A I would've liked some presents but G D/F# You're what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send) Em D It's true, I've been a naughty boy A G And maybe that's a sin (Maybe that's a sin) D A G If this is how Santa treats the kids, I'm just glad that I'm not him" Verse 3 D A Bm F#m Joel, Joel, the lump of coal knew what he must do G D G A He said, "now I know the reason why I got sent to you D A/C# Bm A Cause when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel Em Bm E A But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel" D A/C# Bm A "So take me in your hand, young man and squeeze with all your might Em Bm E A Let's turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright" D A Bm F#m Then Joel, Joel, the lump of coal he gave his life away G D G A D Oh, one good naughty little boy get a diamond on Christmas day