Here's hopin' the food don't get cold And the phone don't ring That thing has a habit Of suddenly changing things Last time they called They were looking for you They're calling again What am I gonna do? Sometimes that ol' mailman He carries a bag of tricks He once left me something That sure left me in a fix That letter said lots of things That weren't true But everything's changed now And what can I do? Just like an old movie-star Jumps at a telegram The second he gets it His brain hears those jail doors slam He'll get caught up in An elaborate scam With too many subplots To count on his hands