Eliot What a gyp- This i such a rip-off Every time she sneers at me I want to rip her upper lip off But this is not a healthy way to live I've gotta be more. . .positive The good news is She doesn't own a shotgun so i guess i got off cheap The bad news is tonight i'm counting squatters When i should be counting sheep The good news is i'm here in new york where solvency May await The bad news is the good news ain't so great Sure i'm tired, depressed and pissed I'll pretend to be an optimist The good news is i'm sharing this apartment with a pair Of single chicks The bad news is that one of them is rabid and the Other's three foot six Paula The good news is we're safe in my bed not out on The street, knock wood The bad news is he could be here for good Paula & eliott The good news is some quick negotiation Kept the roof above my head The bad news is a homicidal maniac Is ten feet from my bed Lucy The bad news is we're stuck with a roommate This one is a ticking bomb The good news is- This time i'm the one who sleeps with mom! All The bad news is that i haven't slept a wink And it's almost dawn The good news is Maybe i'll wake up and Elliot She'll be Paula & lucy He'll be All Gone Why this? Why me? Why now?