I've been good for weeks now I tell you I'm in control I've got my shit together I know when I should fold It's just tonight Nothing at all to fear You'll be with me all the time It's not like I could run off anywhere I go right home But I won't be alone A thousand in cash And a mobile phone Don't know how to stop I sure can't tell you when I am lost in that whirlpool again Don't think I'll ever stop Can't see a reason why Only dying makes me feel alive It's that constant burden Of trying to make it bearable When my life is so fucked up And so far from repairable That makes me look For that final nail for my coffin It's way past midnight But I find hundres in the nothing (The same lies I've told everybody including myself a hundred times) I go right home But I won't be alone A thousand in cash And a mobile phone Don't know how I'll stop I sure can't tell you when I am lost in that whirlpool again Don't think I'll ever stop Can't see a reason why Only dying makes me feel alive Wide awake, I never went to bed Naked by the window and the sun is pissing red My hands look rusty, guess my nose has bled Then I remember what my father said Don't know how I'll stop I sure can't tell you when I am lost in that whirlpool again Don't think 'll ever stop Can't see a reason why Only dying makes me feel alive