She tasted of cigarettes and stout I didn't start the fire but I couldn't put it out Skin as white as chewing gum and teeth of purest gold How I loved my Mary of the Northolt Rd It was a lovely summer Monday in July We started drinking in the house until we drank it dry We thought we'd go down to the Shawl to find an Irish rose Instead I found my Mary of the Northolt Rd I saw her standing up there at the bar Drinking Guinness, smoking a cigar But drinking tends to weaken your quality control And so I started talking to my Mary-O We started on the Magners and the whiskey When we got to Diceys she started to get frisky She said "you're coming home with me" I did as I was told I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd I thought she was the girl of my dreams But in the morning she wasn't what she seemed Drinking tends to weaken your quality control And so I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd A warning to you boys out on the beer Drinking till you can't see is not a good idea You'll start to get to talking and the next thing that you know You'll wake up next to Mary on the Northolt Rd I thought she was the girl of my dreams But in the morning she wasn't what she seemed Drinking tends to weaken your quality control And so I ran away from Mary down the Northolt Rd Drinking tends to weaken your quality control How I loved my Mary of the Northolt Rd