Tom: D (capo 2ª casa) (intro) C C G Am Em I like glitter and sparkly dresses. F But I'm not gonna talk about that G in my monologue. C G Am Em I like baking and things that smell like winter. F But I'm not gonna talk about that G in my monologue. C La la la. La la la. C G Am Em I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me. F But I'm not gonna say that G in my monologue. C G Am Em I like writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public. F But I'm not gonna say that G in my monologue. ( C ) C G Am G F G La la. La la la la la. This is my musical monologue. C G Am Em You might think I'd bring up Joe, that guy who broke up with me on the phone. F But I'm not gonna mention him, G in my monologue. C Hey Joe, I'm doing real well! G Am Em Tonight I'm hosting 'SNL.' F But I'm gonna brag about that G in my monologue. C La la la. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. La la la. C G Am Em And if you're wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from 'Twilight.' [ "Hi Taylor," pisca e manda beijo.] F I'm not gonna comment on that G in my monologue. C G Am G F G La la. La la la la la. This is my musical monologue. ( Am ) Am Em You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye F and how he ran up on the stage and ruined my VMA monologue. C G Am G F But there's nothing more to say cuz everything's OK. F I've got security lining the stage. It's my 'SNL' monologue. C G Am G F G La la. La la la la la. This is my 'SNL' monologue. C G Am G F G La la. La la la la la. That was my 'SNL' monologue.