When I was 17
I didn't make the team
I couldn't achieve my dream of playing in the NBA
I couldn't make the pass
Of course I got picked last
Every body kicked my ass each and every day
He smokes two packs a day
That don't affect his play
He'd never roll a j
Like most guys today
He'd never beat up fans
He hardly understands
English but he's my man
And I'm his smallest fan
On and off the court he's got everything
If you ask me he's my hero
If you ask me he's my king
My whole life's is a nightmare but his life's a dream
There's only one guy I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I could drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes
Now the Lakers have him back
only he could replace Shaq
on the roster now they're stacked
like Erica Elaniak
In bed he's a gentle giant
Maybe other pros should try it
He'd never rape like Kobe Bryant
or pay them off just to keep quiet
On and off the court he's got everything
If you ask me he's my hero
If you ask me he's my king
My whole life's a nightmare but his life's a dream
There's only one guy I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes
I don't want to be Peja Stojakovic
I don't want to be Darco Milicic
I sure don't want to be Slobodan Milosovic
There's only one Serb I want to be
I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave
If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes
