Anything he can do, I can do dumber I can do anything dumber than him No, you can't Yeah, I can No, you can't Yeah, I can Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man To get around town I can ace this race I roll down the street with shopping carts as skates I always take first dates to da club with my mum I run through airports screaming about my lip balm You think that's dumb? That ain't shit Son I misplaced my hammer so I used a nail gun Blow dry my hair while I take a nap in the bath I stuck my tongue to a frozen pole and it hecka sucked ass Anything you can do, I can do dumber I can do anything dumber than you No, you can't Yeah, I can No, you can't Yeah, I can Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, du-dumb, dumb, du-dumb Dumb! Forgot to put lemons in my lemon meringue pie Dumb! Hold my breath through a tunnel and almost died Dumb! Siphoned gas out of a septic tank Dumb! Tagged myself a selfie when I tried to rob a bank Dumb! Lit fireworks in my room to hear them go pop Dumb! Built a fully functional humanoid robot Er, dude that's not dumb at all. That's actually kind of brilliant Oh, er Peed into a bottle and gave it to a cop Hahahaha! Anything you can do, I can do dumber I can do anything dumber than you No, you can't Yeah, I can No, you can't Yeah, I can Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man I can eat my phone to take a pic of my heart I can scratch my own back 'cause I cut off my arm Gave a scary biker a free prostate exam To impress a hitchhiker I lit my fart inside a van