I wish that somebody would bring me a compass or even a map
Just something to distract me from the fact that I am lost
I got caught up in the whirlwind of experimentation
And I don’t mean sexual relations or physical stimulation limitations;
I got lost by love. See, the media has convinced
Me that all men lie and all men cheat
And if you’re bound to be disrespected then why bother speak?
That black men don’t want brown girls to match with
If a guy shows any interest don’t get too attached
He will leave. And I’ve found a good one
A really good guy but when you are
Stuck in a negative mind state
You feel like happiness is a lie
And you wait for someone to do you
Wrong ‘cause you’ve never been done right
So, you put on your scariest mask
Pull out your ugliest words
Stab deep wounds with your sharpest attitudes
And wait for someone to abandon you
Like you assume you deserve
See, I grew up making the assumption that you date to break up
No such thing as a permanent make-up
You marry to divorce, make rules just to enforce
And you forget that love is about loving somebody
Not picking them apart, not fighting, but love
And I’ve waited years for this guy to mess up
I ran from the truth cause it wasn’t enough
I wanted lies, I wanted to be fooled so I can move forward
And not have to worry about being lied to or fooled anymore
I spat hate, he swallowed pride
I cooked pain, he threw up lies
I kicked him out, he came inside
I walked away, he walked beside
I called him out, he never denied a thing
He continued to be patient and I hated it
I would look through his phone
Hoping to catch him calling another girl by my name
I would yell anytime he left the house with hopes of driving him so crazy
That he would approach a girl with the same lips that kiss me goodbye
I would get an attitude when he told me how much he loved me
And hopes that maybe he wouldn’t love me
Anymore and I would finally be free
And now that I am alone, I realized that
The definition of free has changed
What’s free about checking your phone
When you won’t have a text?
Or a guy telling you “you’re beautiful
And if you ever need sex, can I be next?”
I mean what’s free about nobody being
There to defend you when you’re called out your name
And now that I’ve grown up, being free isn’t the same
So yes, ladies. Some guys will cheat
Some will lie and even disrespect you
But when you come across a good man
Don’t scare him, don’t share him and
When you’re given the truth
Don’t pray for a lie
