Clap, clap, everybody clap, clap Everybody has it, it's rude not to share it Your clap, clap Oh, chlamydia My life's a living hell No encyclopedia Defines the putrid smell There were no warning signs When i stepped in the jacuzzi You'd been there for some time So you obviously weren't choosy You threw yourself at me I couldn't help but catch you Now you're a nasty itch That i can't reach to scratch you Ohh Ohh Ohh Oh, chlamydia You really are a curse Now i can't get rid o' you Can it get any worse? You seem to have invited Your old friend gonorrhoea Who, far from being gone hands Arrived with diarrhoea I'm being looked at sideways By a sneaky little crab Whose man and eyes like a bug Oh, venerea I'm clawing at your itch Oozing bacteria Lies under