And I grew up on alcoholic evenings and slow jazz music to keep my heart beating because after all that happens in a dissolving family the need for a song to sing me to sleep still rings true and I always knew that there wasn't glue strong enough to sew these roots together and now that I've wasted too many years and I've lost track of where I started I have to dream at night of who I was and why after twenty years of marriage I am what is left and I'd like to go back now and make myself up because I'd be a brick so I wouldn't feel and I'd lift myself up and I'd throw myself at this house to break windows and smash walls