Tom: G G D A man walks down the street, C D he says why am I soft in the middle now, G D why am I soft in the middle, C D the rest of my life is so hard, G D I need a photo-opportunity, C D I want a shot at redemption, G D dont want to end up a cartoon, C D in a cartoon graveyard, G D bonedigger, bonedigger, C D dogs in the moonlight, G D C D far away my well-lit door, G D Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly, C D get these mutts away from me, G D C D you know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore. G D If youll be my bodyguard C D G D C D I can be your long lost pal, G D I can call you Betty, C D and Betty when you call me G D C D you can call me Al. A man walks down the street, he says why am I short of attention, got a short little span of attention, and wo my nights are so long, wheres my wife and family, what if I die here, wholl be my role-model, now that my role-model is gone, gone, he ducked back down the alley with some roly-poly little bat-faced girl, all along, along there were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations. If youll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal, I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me G D C D you can call me Al, G D C D call me Al.