Can’t pinpoint the moment resent, hate, jealousy Self disgust reshaped my own personality Consistency in failure, a badge I wore with pride ‘Cos even though I got nowhere at least it meant I tried But now I’m more perceptive, a little less naïve Realization all I won were Pyrrhic victories The man I’m fast becoming, not one I wanna be Metamorphosis complete, I’m better off dead Dead better off dead How much longer will I suffer Before you release me into the comfort of death Alienated, a loss of confidence Immerse myself in depressions useless indulgence Alone self medicating to drag me from this hell Numb all expectations crawl further into my shell Bitterness in torment, no release as I bled So ingrained within me that I'm better off dead