He could have been a contender But Eddie never said no to a bender And after he had downed his thirteenth Scotch He was a man to watch Yeah Oh yes he had the cunning But drink had kept him out of the running And on the nights when he mixed his rum with gin There was no stopping him No He's a brute So hirsute Nose and teeth Battered Scattered Legs and thighs Oversize A boxer you'd guess And you're probably right Oh Eddie could fight 'Specially when he was tight Which happened every night Oh Eddie loved his kid sister So much he made sure nobody kissed her So when he happened upon her with a man The shit hit the fan Yeah His big hands Grabbed that man By the neck Took him Shook him Nadine screamed Don't be mean You'll kill him and Eddie Said you're probably right Oh Eddie could fight 'Specially when he was tight Which happened every night Kill him, Eddie! The man went down Hit the ground Nadine said Steady Eddie Eddie swore Fucking whore And charged his sister Like a wild boar Just in time From behind A bottle came down Shattered Spattered Like a light In the night Eddie's faded but His sister's alright Oh Eddie could fight But he's not fighting tonight 'Cause he's out like a light And Nadine she's alright Different lover each night Eddie's nowhere in sight 'Cause he's all out of fight