Call the girls and dress up fine Tonight I felt like suicide Roll them dice and pour the wine Shuffle them cards and deal them fine Got nobody to kiss tonight Nothing to lose but my appetite Wanna be silly and sing and shout Gotta get legless and fall about Turn the music up nice and loud Cheer me up don't bring me down Gonna lose my job next week Getting replaced by a silicone chip I might have been a hero But I chose to stay in bed I might have been prime minister but right now honey I'm better off dead I might have been a hero But I chose to stay in bed I might have been prime minister but right now honey I'm better off dead Don't like the scenery don't like the set Tear it all down and start again Man keeps talking on the radio Telling me what I don't wanna know Radiation wars and layatril If tax don't get ya then cancer will I might have been a hero But I chose to stay in bed I might have been prime minister but right now honey I'm better off dead I might have been a hero But I chose to stay in bed I might have been prime minister but right now honey I'm better off dead Better off dead, better off dead Better off dead, better off dead