Tom: C
G C F
There is a Barbie doll in the gravy boat up on mommas TV set
C D G
An angel made of Styrofoam holds Rita’s cigarette
C F
Santa waves an empty beer in his plastic hand
C G C
Everyone is here this year, its Christmas time again
[Verse]
G C F
You know the kids are in their sleeping bags with every kind of toy
C D G
And Ken and Kay have hit the hay in dad’s new La-Z-Boy
C F
Fran has got a cozy spot beneath the Christmas tree
C G C
Sitting in his underwear drunk as he can be
[Chorus]
F C
Last night we stuffed our stockings and hung the mistletoe
F C D G
When Santa Claus came knocking, he looked like Uncle Joe
C F
Someone put the coffee on and find the Tylenol
C F C
Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays y’all
[Verse]
G C F
Of course old dad got mom a flannel robe and Ken a socket set
C D G
Mom got Kay a super value pack of Nicorette
C F
Kay got Ken a Nordic Track and a new guitar for me
C G C
Ken got sister Spanish speaking lessons on CD
[Chorus]
F C
Last night we all sang Jingle Bells and opened up our hearts
F C D Am G
This morning our house looks like hell or possibly Wal-Mart
C G C F
Someone clean the gravy boat and dress the Barbie doll
C
Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays y’all
F C
We’re making mimosas on the deck and packing the U-Haul
F C
Merry Christmas everyone, God bless us one and all
