Tom: D Em D Em Fergus Laing is a beast of a man G A Em He stitches up and fleeces D Em He wants to manicure the world G A Em And sell it off in pieces G He likes to build his towers high A He blocks the sun out of the sky Hm A In the penthouse the champagne's dry Em And slightly gassy [Verse 2] Em D Em Fergus Laing, he works so hard G A Em As busy as a bee is D Em Fergus Laing has seventeen friends G A Em All as dull as he is G His seventeen friends have seventeen wives A All the perfect shape and size Hm A They wag their tails and bat their eyes Em Just like Lassie [Chorus] A Fergus Laing he builds and builds Em Yet small is his erection A Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair Em D When the wind's in the right direction C H7 the wind's in the right direction [Verse 3] Em D Em Fergus Laing and his seventeen friends G A Em They live inside a bubble D Em There they withdraw and shut the door G A Em At any sign of trouble G Should the peasants wail and vent A And ask him where the money went Hm A He'll simply say, it's all been spent Em On being classy [Verse 4] Em D Em Fergus' buildings reach the sky G A Em Until you cannot see 'em D Em He thinks the old stuff he pulls down G A Em Belongs in a museum G His own fair home is on the Park A an airy jewel, a city ark Hm A Hung with Picasso, hung with Braque Em but nothing brassy [Chorus] A Fergus Laing he builds and builds Em Yet small is his erection A Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair Em D When the wind's in the right direction C H7 Em the wind's in the right direction [Alternate Verse 4] G His fits are famous on the scene A The shortest fuse, so cruel, so mean Hm A But don't call him a drama queen Em Like Shirley Bassey [Chorus] Em D Em Fergus Laing he flaunts the law G A Em But one day he'll be wired D Em And as they drag him off to jail G A Em We'll all shout, "You're fired!"