Well, I've been swinging through these swinging doors for, aww, goin' on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10 And I watch old Joe at the end of the bar with another hot woman on his one good arm and they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin', again So I finally had to ask old Joe, "Man, what's your secret to success, your power of persuasion over the opposite sex" And he says, "Son, well, honestly, it's pretty simple." He said, "I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink and open up my mouth and… Lie I tell her I'm a movie star I just flew into town to buy this bar I'm only here tonight, that's right I gotta go, yeah, we're filming on location down in Mexico Would you believe that I got the leading role? That's right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you'd probably know." Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do Anything it takes to make her think you're cool Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try Just walk right up and smile and look her dead in the eye And lie That's right lie So I tried and tried a couple weekends and it was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again But I narrowed it down, and I scratched it out, and I came up with something that without a doubt I knew, I was gonna make old Joe proud And I go up and I'd say Hi Honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life I've been waiting such a long, long time And you know what honey? Meetin' you here, man, it just really feels like fate Oh I, I bet you didn't see me as a marrying type Let's take it slow I don't just want one night, oh no darlin' If you're looking for that you might as well look somewhere else Well, because I'm just not that kind of guy And kids, oh I love kids Dogs, in-laws, and a piece of land Dirty diapers in my mini van Aw man, I can hardly wait Oh a man has got to do what a man's gotta do Anything it takes to make her think you're cool Aw, you got nothin' to lose so go on and try Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye You know what you got to do, lie That's right you gotta lie Sometimes you gotta lie