Someone spiked your drink, you were feeling sick before. 
That curry we had earlier, I think that meat was raw. 

Where were you last night ?, I thought you meant today. 
You waited there for an hour and a half, I wasn't born yesterday. 

Don't give me your excuses. 

It was my long lost cousin, I was just saying goodbye. 
Your phones been out of order, honestly, I really tried ! 

I caught it off a toilet seat, I mean I think its hereditary. 
Well if you think I believe that shit, you've got a small opinion of me.