Tom: D D G D Bm A G A G D Bm A D G D Those crazy Christians, I was gonna sleep in today Bm A G But the church bells woke me up and they’re a half a mile away D G D Those crazy Christians, dressed up drivin’ down my street Bm A G Get their weekly dose of guilt before they head to Applebee’s A G They pray before they eat and they pray before they snore D Bm A They pray before a football game and every time they score A G Every untimely passing, every dear departed soul D Bm A Is just another good excuse to bake a casserole D G D Those crazy Christians, go and jump on some airplane Bm A G And fly to Africa or Haiti, risk their lives in Jesus’ name D G D No, they ain’t the late night party kind Bm A G They curse the devil’s whiskey while they drink the Savior’s wine A G A famous TV preacher has a big affair and then D Bm A One tearful confession and he’s born again again A G Someone yells hallelujah and they shout and clap and sing D Bm A It’s like they can’t wait to forgive someone for just about anything D G D Those crazy Christians, instead of being outside on this sunny afternoon Bm A G They’re by the bedside of a stranger in a cold hospital room D G D And every now and then they meet a poor lost soul like me Bm A G Who’s not quite sure just who or what or how he ought to be D G D They march him down the aisle and then the next thing that you know Bm A G They dunk him in the water and here comes another one of those crazy Christians A G They look to heaven their whole life D Bm A And I think what if they’re wrong but what if they’re right A G You know it’s funny, much as I’m baffled by it all D Bm A If I ever really needed help, well you know who I’d call