On the coldest night of the year At a pub called "the elephant's ear" Incredible phat, the inn keeper's cat Was having a saucer of beer With fourteen merry gentlemen On the coldest night of the year. As the hour of eleven drew near Some poor stranger in rags did appear At the door of the inn - face weary and thin - To ask "is there any room here?" But the owner just laughed and said "My friend, it's the coldest night of the year. We've a sheikh with three wives, And a moneylender. A taxman, a soldier, and a harness mender Three balmy old coots in silver boots - Two are stargazers and the other's a seer." Out into the night crystal clear The stranger went hiding a tear And incredible phat, the inn keeper's cat, Followed and saw standing near A donkey bearing a pale, sweet girl Through the coldest night of the year. While the barmaid, the priest and the diplomat Bought one last round for an acrobat, And a spy with no chin, who had also come in From the cold, with harod's surly charioteer. Then phat said: "friends be of good cheer! For I know of a shelter that's near." And he lead them out back to a tumbled down shack Where the inn keeper's wife kept her steer. And he said: "it's the warmest place in town On the coldest night of the year." Yes he said: "it's the warmest place in town On the coldest night of the year."