Halloween has come so soon The neighbour's kids they all assume The bags beneath these eyes of gloom Are part of some grotesque costume But the scariest thing of all Is I was once just like you One day you're gonna fall Life is gonna break you, too So, no, I don't have any treats No chocolate fudge, no fizzy sweets Look at my clothes and thinning hair You think I have a thing to spare? That stench stinging your nose Is alcohol, shame, and regret You, too, shall decompose And choke to death on student debt Credit card bills Gum disease Microwave meals Help me, please One day We'll be the same Buried bones And a half-remembered name Mock me while you can Soon you'll be fidget-spinning in your grave, young man So, happy Halloween, my friend Enjoy yourself before the end There's no hope now you're condemned So, happy Halloween, my friend