He's the spirit of christmas Crack and Claus go hand in hand When christmas comes around, you will be surprised For Santa's selling crack to children each and every size No longer does he care if you are naughty or your nice Jut purchase some of Santa's blend of heroin and ice The elves are working hard this year, but toys are not their trade Busy making sheets of acid, vials of crack cocaine Rudolph the white-nosed coke fiend, Santa's trusty sleigh His new careers expanding, and he's laughing all the way Now, Mrs. Claus doesn't approve of jolly old st. nick Roaming streets of Oakland pushing drugs to kids But times have changed, dolls and trains outgrown What the children want now days is some real snow Santa doesn't care, he's a real man Some children of the world just can't comprehend He used to come only once a year Now that fat slob is always here He's outside Toys "R" Us, he's inside Taco Bell His crafty red suit doesn't warn us that it's drugs he sells If you've got a list, you can sit on his lap Rub his dirty bears and smoke some crack Frosty the blow man supplier Santa's secret outside provider Deliver his potent sugarplum ocean divider If your dreaming of a "white" Christmas, Santa's got the goods Rather buy your hubba from a hero or a hood More silent than a church mouse's fart, he's in your living room Dare not give him milk and cookies, daddy's credit card will do... A twenty dollar bill, hid in your pocket with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there Six months in jail and you still haven't learned That Santa Claus is a no-life bum who's really not concerned To get ahead in life you gotta have a plan Santa Claus has a cause, does no one understand? He sells his blow to tots and in return he plots The future of our holiday season