Fat As I Am

Fat as I am. 
Who wants to see a diva fat as I am? 
I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan. 
How is it that I'm fat as I am? 

Fat as I am. 
The camera's gonna add a ton to my can. 
This is the way they say Godzilla began. 
How did I get as fat as I am? 

"Try it again." 
All of my friends say I should diet again; 
That all my fans are gonna riot again. 
"Look what happened to Liz." 

All of my sins 
are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins! 
I could audition for the doublemint twins. 
No one in the biz is as fat as I is. 

Ah, but what's a career 
when you put it next to knockwurst and beer? 
They could park a DC10 on my rear. 
God knows I got the gas! 

There goes the chair. 
But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care! 
I ate a meatball off the floor right over there. 
Ah, you don't give a damn 
when you're fat as I am!