OLD SNATCH: A dick can act real sweet A dick can bat his eyes He can tell you youre the one But that dicks just full of lies A dicks a dicks a dicks a dicks a dick its true But you aint never gonna find the dick for you A dick can hit you hard MS. COOTER: Ooh, a dick can hit you fast A dick can bring you love OLD SNATCH: But that dick wont make it last MS. COOTER: Theres a dick for every puss Lots of fish in the sea OLD SNATCH: But they sure as hell Havent found a dick for me! Both: There aint nothing like a dick MS. COOTER: And the dick I found is the best! BOTH: There aint nothing like a dick OLD SNATCH: They leaving you itching with a rash Both: You can play with a dildo til it makes you sick But at the end of the day There aint nothing like a dick OLD SNATCH: Now youre getting it Miss Cooter Preach baby, preach! MS. COOTER: My Dicks a different breed Hes got class hes debonair His voice is gravelly and soft And baby, hes got quite a pair! OLD SNATCH: Yeah! When he talks to me I get all hot and bothered you see Im positive that hes the only dick for me! OLD SNATCH: Ooh, that dicks got you good Hes got you under his spell MS. COOTER: Well, at least I have a dick And at least I dont smell OLD SNATCH: Make the same mistakes Through thin and through thick Both: But at the end of the day There aint nothing like a dick MS. COOTER: I want that shaft in me today. BOTH: There aint nothing like a dick OLD SNATCH: Hey look a baby on the way! MS. COOTER: Ooo, the way he makes me feel! OLD SNATCH: Oh, they sures ares slicks BOTH: But at the end of the day there aint nothing Like a dick! OLD SNATCH: And theyll fuck ya too!