WEENIE: You look a little lost, kid You look a little scared You seem a little worried, kid A little unprepared You seem a little flaccid, kid It seems youve lost your wood Did you come here alone, kid? You look misunderstood Lemme guess. Your masters gone astray? No one around to sit and play? No one to make you spurt and spray? Well, todays your lucky day Theres a warm, secluded place where a dick can feel at home With miles of open space where dicks are free to roam Got no time for your selfish owner He sure missed out on a quality boner Dont worry youll get your kicks cause You just stumbled into the land of the dicks You can let your hair grow out, theres nobody to make you trim You can flop or go kerplop when youre everybodys favorite limb You dont need to get total action When youve got scrotal satisfaction You can come anytime and get your fix At a hot little joint called the land of the dicks ALL DICKS: A hot little joint called the land of the dicks BIG T: Cocks from far and wide Oh, they lay down at my side I take them in, and wipe their tears away You may be lost now, Dick But youre one lucky prick Well make a one-eyed king of you today! DICKS: (alternating) Some are big and some are small Some are slobs, and some well dressed There are dicks of every kind Its a regular sausage fest You have miles at your disposal if you wanna go pissin The golden rain flows as you watch it glisten You can come anytime and get your fix At a hot little joint called the land of the dicks Whooo! BIG T and DICKS: I said pee-pee (pee-pee) I said ding dong (ding dong) Me tally wacker (tally wacker) Schloong (schloong) I said trouser snake Private eye Wing dang doodle Sausage, choade, cock, DICK: Dick! ALL: DICK! Theres a warm, secluded place where a dick can feel at home With miles of open space where dicks are free to roam Got no time for your selfish owner He sure missed out on a quality boner Dont worry youll get your kicks You can come and get your fix Its time to mingle and mix Cause you just stumbled in to the land Of the dicks!