Tom: A
A D A
When we pulled into Argo Port in need of R & R
A E
The crew set out investigating every joint and bar
A D A
We had high expectations of their hospitality
A E A
But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our captain's tastes were simple but his methods were complex
A E
We found him with five partners each of a different world and sex
A D A
The shore police were on the way -- we had no second chance
A E A
We beamed him up in the nick of time in the remnants of his pants
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our engineer would yield to none in putting down the brew
A E
He outdrank seven space marines and a demolition crew
A D A
The navigator didn't win but he outdrank almost all
A E A
And now they've got a shuttlecraft on the roof of city hall
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our proper cool first officer was drugged with something green
A E
And hauled into an alley where he suffered things obscene
A D A
He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
A E A
Except he somehow taught the bridge computer how to swear
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
The head nurse disappeared a while in the major dope bazaar
A E
Buying an odd green potion guaranteed to cause pon farr
A D A
She came home with no uniform and an oddly cheerful heart
A E A
And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our lady of communications won a ship-wide bet
A E
By getting into the planet's main communications net
A D A
Now every time someone calls up on an Argo telescreen
A E A
The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our Doctor loves Humanity; his private life is quiet
A E
The Shore Police arrested him for inciting whores to riot
A D A
We found him in the city jail, locked on and beamed him free-
A E A
Intact except for hickeys and six kinds of VD
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our Helmsman loves exotic plants; the plants all love him too
A E
He took some down on leave with him and we wondered what they'd do
A D A
'Til the planetary governor called and swore upon his life
A E A
That a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife!
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
A gang of Klingons landed, and nobody seemed to care
A E
They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
A D A
Half our crew was busy there, and invited them to play
A E A
But the Klingons only looked at us, and turned and ran away
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
[Verse]
A D A
Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
A E
And when we play we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
A D A
We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss;
A E A
At least we're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting us!
[Chorus]
D A
And we're banned from Argo, every one
D E
Banned from Argo just for having a little fun
A E D B
We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
A E A
But Argo doesn't want us anymore
E A
...Wonder why?
