My basement (uh) Gonna show you my beautiful basement Where the concrete floor feels cool to the touch I'll turn up the heat if it's too much I'll turn on the lightbulb on the wire Turn on the dehumidifier I'm serious when I flick this next switch Look you in the eye, and I say: Check this My trains (uh) My trains (uh) I got small ones, tiny little trains I come down here just to get away My trains (uh) My trains (uh) It's like magic, magic trains I wish these trains could take me away In the club, the model railroad club A motherfucker said shit about my trains Might as well have took a shit on my brain 'Cause I went insane I laid track on his ass with a styrofoam bat But the president never did let me back after that Shit, I said: fuck you Who the fuck needs a punk ass choo-choo crew any who? My trains (uh) My trains (uh) I got small ones, tiny little trains I come down here just to get away My trains (uh) M-m-m-m-my trains (uh) It's like magic, magic trains I wish these trains could take me away I lie here every night I feel like if I focus And think of getting smaller I'll gradually get smaller And if I get small enough My trains will seem much bigger And I'll be the conductor The tiniest conductor Oh! Then whatchu gonna do? Then whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do then, huh? Whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do when I'm fucking small Like one inch tall You won't see me coming at all When I crawl into your ear late at night Yeah, you heard me right motherfucker, sleep tight And you think I'm just another bad dream But I'm a tiny little man in your bloodstream Little hands hold an artery shut Yeah, that's right motherfucker, then what? My trains My trains My trains (uh) My trains (uh) I got small ones, tiny little trains I come down here just to get away My trains (uh) My trains (uh) They're like magic, magic trains I wish these trains could take me away My trains (Chugga chugga woo-woo) My trains (Chugga chugga woo-woo) My trains (Chugga chugga woo-woo) My trains