Sometimes a man and a woman spends thirty or forty years together And they don't belong together And then one day, one of them tries to leave And does but in a most peculiar way Woman, one of these days I'm (leaving) Leaving you far behind And on that day you'll be (grieving) Grieve on, woman, I don't mind Look out in the backyard (mama) 'Cause I'm leaving you real soon Gonna fly me up to (heaven) In my big red balloon You're nothing but an old fool And that's all you'll ever be You're nothing but an old fool You know you'll never beat me So stop your silly playing It's time you settled down And hear me when I'm saying You'll never get that damn thing off the ground Old women are ya (looking) 'Cause I'm almost ten feet high, high, high Woman, stop your (cooking) 'Cause I'll never eat that pie I'm on my way to (heaven) Might even touch the Moon Wave me goodbye, I'm (leaving) In my big red balloon You're nothing but an old fool And that's all you'll ever be You're nothing but an old fool You know you'll never leave me So stop your silly playing It's time you settled down You better hear me when I'm saying You'll never get that damn thing off the ground You never gave me (loving) You never were the kind You never gave me (children) You never had the time Remember me to (no one) I was born this afternoon I got it all (together) In my big red balloon You're nothing but an old fool And that's all you'll ever be You're nothing but an old fool You know you'll never leave me So come on and stop this silly playing It's time you settled down And hear me when I'm saying You'll never get that damn thing off the ground You'll never get that damn thing off the ground I said you won't get that thing off the ground Get that What are you doing up there? Bring that damn thing back down here Listen, you hear me Get back down here boy