A man walks down the street He says: Why am I soft in the middle, now? Why am I soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption Don't want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard Bonedigger, Bonedigger Dogs in the moonlight Far away in my well-lit door Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly Get these mutts away from me You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al You can call me You can call me A man walks down the street He says: Why am I short of attention? Got a short little span of attention And, whoa, my nights are so long Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who'll be my role model Now that my role model is gone, gone? He ducked back down the alley With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl All along, along There were incidents and accidents There were hints and allegations If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al You can call me You can call me You can call me You can call me Al