Tonight I'm posed and popping like a peacock I'm pressing flesh, I'm smiling big My spinning head sings: Stop, just stop 'Cause what used to calm me down Just rips my life to ribbons now So I keep smiling, I find my window and quick cut out These days my hangman's hunger makes my gut kick My sleeping mind could map it blind A flask, a key, a bag, a fifth I try to will myself away while shouting Habits plead their case So when the Sun seers through my eyes A beggar's brain can't compromise I splash cold water, I draw the curtains I stay inside and I can't say that it's a sickness More like a stranger I ask in and later realize It was a strangler slipping nooses in my den But I was lonely, so I asked him Could you tie that one on me? It wasn't his fault I was eager and I was weak So as I inched towards resolution Yeah, I'm not sure which life feels right No narrow noose or the wading water Will hang in hex or open eyes I know my brother, he went one way And at the fork I heard him say Don't you follow, don't go making my mistakes And I realized what he meant Don't kill yourself to raise the dead, it never works You'll only end up joining them, it never works You'll only end up joining them