Tom: G
[Intro] D
D C
There once was a man who just couldn't cry
G D
He hadn't cried for years and for years
C
Napalmed babies and the movie "Love Story"
G D
For instance could not produce tears
A G D
As a child he had cried as all children will
C G
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
D C
He grew to be a man, it all hit the fan
G D
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
C G
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
D
And after that he got sacked from his job
C
G
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
D
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
A G D
His novel was refused, his movie was panned
C G
And his big Broadway show was a flop
D C G
He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
D
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
D C G
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
D
And made to make license plates
D C G
Water and bread was all he was fed
D
But not once did a tear stain his face
C G D
Doctors were called in, scientists, too
C G D
Theologians were last and practically least
C G
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
D
But in fact an insensitive beast
C G
He was taken from jail and placed in a place
D
For the insensitive and the insane
C G
He made a lot of friends, and played lots of chess
D
And he cried every time it would rain
A G D
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
C G
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
D C G
On the forty-first day, he passed away
D
He just dehydrated and died
C G
Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
D
After that, he rejoined his arm
C G
Below, all the critics, they Took it all back
D
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
A G D
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
C G
The theologians were finally found out
D C G
Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
D
The earth suffered perpetual drought
