Tom: E
E
Well, I guess it was back in '63
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me lead guitar
E (E G A B A G E)
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife
E
Well, she said she would...So I said,'I do'
But I'da said, 'I wouldn't'.If I'da just knew how sayin' 'I do'
E (E G A B A G E )
Was gonna screw up all o' my life
E
Well, the first few years weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
E (E G A B A G E)
Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child sup port
E
Well, it wasn't too long til the lust all died
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
E (E G A B A G E)
The day I came home and found my suitcase sittin'out on the porch
[Chorus]
E
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock
A
....Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said
B E (E G A B A G E)
....'Goodbye, turkey...My attorney will be in touch'
E
So I decided right then and there
A
...I was gonna do what's right...Give 'er her fair share
B E (E G A B A G E )
...But, brother, I didn't know her share was gonna be that much
[Chorus]
A
She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine)
E
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
A
They split it right down the middle
(stop) B(Bass Note)
And then they give her the better half
E
Well, it all sounds sorta funny
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E B E
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft
[Verse]
E
Now listen up...you ain't heard nothin' yet
Why, they give 'er the color televison set
E (E G A B A G E)
Then they give 'er the house, the kids and both of the cars
See
E
Well, then they started talkin' about child support,
alimony..And the costs to the court
E (E G A B A G E)
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was
[Chorus]
E
I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake
A
..'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes
B E (E G A B A G E)
..Besides, everythin' I ever had worth takin'they've already took
E
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony
A
...I'm workin' two shifts, eatin' baloney
B E (E G A B A G E)
...Askin' myself, 'Why didn't you just learn how to cook?'
[Chorus]
A
They give her the gold mine (She got the gold mine)
E
They give me the shaft (I got the shaft)
A
They said they splittin? it all down the middle
(stop) B(Bass Note)
But she got the better half
E
Well, it all sounds sorta funny
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E B E
She got the gold mine,..I got the shaft
[Instrumental]
[Chorus]
E A
Well, She got the gold mine (She got the gold mine)
E
I got the shaft (I got the shaft)
A
They split it all down the middle
(stop) B (Bass Note)
But they give her the better half
E
Well, it all sounds mighty funny(Ooh, ooh, ha ha ha)
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E B E
She got the gold mine,.I got the shaft
[Outro]
B E
Yea, I ain?t kiddin..I got the shaft
B E
...But I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold anymore
B
....Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
E B
....I let my wife tote it...I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps
E
You get it, judge...I'm gonna be indebted
B E
...That's not funny....Huh...
B
...Contempt of court.
E B E (fade)
What do you mean..I'm in contempt of court
