Oh, all the names and locations have been changed To protect the innocent, which would be me Well, I missed class today, slept in a little late Had too much fun last night At least I got an "a" on my last test I drank a case of keystone light Well, that's the beer we drink here You always get your money's worth You put your beer goggles on, and they don't wear off Until you're lovin' the worst So let's change the subject Well, how about those grades? Well, there's an "a" in alcohol A "b" in beer, "c" is for the night class we live all year "D" is for drunk, and there ain't no "e" So "f" is for, for everclear The teacher missed class today, slept in a little late Had too much fun last night At least she took us up on our last offer To drink some warm, red wine She used to be a stripper at the ol' red fox Down on highway 69 Well, let me tell you friends, her shirt came off By the end of the night Well, let's change the subject Well, how about those grades? Well, there's an "a" in alcohol A "b" in beer, "c" is for ms. Carter who we love so dear "D" is for drunk, and there ain't no "e" So "f" is for, for everclear Okay, here's where it gets good So we missed class today, slept in a little late Had too much fun last night Well, I woke up this morning without any warning Ms. Carter's layin' by my side Well, I got a full ride all last night She really knows her sex ed And I learned more with my hands on Than any book I've ever read Well, let's change the subject Well, how about those grades? There's an "a" in alcohol A "b" in beer, "c" is for ms. Carter who's asleep right here "D" is for drunk, and there ain't no "e" So "f" is for, for everclear That ol' "d" is for drunk, and there ain't no "e" So "f" is for, for everclear