[Frankie] An old man turned 98 He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late And isn't it ironic Don't you think? [David] Hold up, wait a second! That's actually not ironic [Student] Right If we are using irony as defined in Greek tragedy I don't see how, like, a fly in your beverage applies [David] That's not irony That's just like shitty [Frankie] Can I please finish my piece? [Frankie] Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought: Well isn't this nice And isn't it ironic [David] It's not though [Lily] It would be irony if the guy in the crash was like an airplane mechanic [Phoenix] How 'bout you guys let her finish? [Frankie] It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought—it figures! Well, life has a funny way [Phoenix] Of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay And everything's going right [Frankie] And life has a funny way [Phoenix] Of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong And everything blows up in your face [Frankie] It's a traffic jam when you're already late [Teacher] It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break [Phoenix] It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife [Frankie] It's like meeting the boy of my dreams And then meeting his [Phoenix] I'm not seeing anyone [Frankie] And isn't it ironic Don't you think? [Frankie and Phoenix] A little too ironic [Phoenix] Yeah, I really do think [Frankie and Phoenix] It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought, it figures! [Frankie] Well, life has a funny way [Phoenix] Of sneaking up on you [Frankie] Yeah, life has a funny, funny way of helping you out [Frankie and Phoenix] Helping you out