Here's the tale of me. Matilda And my fight with cousin Stephen to succeed Henry first's throne My wife's also called Matilda Quite confusing 'cause we choose to claim Matilda's throne our own I'm Henry that Matilda's son You got that? Here's th story of our spat Starts in 1135, when king Henry, my father died And I think you'll find named me, Matilda, as his heir But his nephew, Stephen, said That crown should be upon my head I'm a man and men come first What? It's only fair Had married Geoffrey of Anjou Stuck in France not Waterloo When Steve without a voulez-vous Took throne from me Should be dancing queen Oh stop causing such a scene! Gimme, gimme crown and take a chance on me I'm heir to the throne not you! Ah-ha! Think you'll get it back Now that I'd like to see! Oh, I do, I do, I do! Fought in Lincoln She caught me Was pro-claimed first English Lady! But she made many enemies Remember me? I'm Stephens wife Made royal councilors agree That she lacked bare femininity Took Stephens army and besieged her! Eugh! More strife! I was trapped so faked my death! Hid in coffin, held my breath Escaped! You think that I'm impressed? Well I'm not Just look who I've got, your half brother Want to swap? Gimme, gimme hubby And we'll fight again The winner takes it all! Ah-ha! In Oxford I'll besiege And I'll escape and then I'll join the battle call! Age 14, I fought but lost So Uncle Stephen stayed as boss! Who should be ruler, mamma? Mia! Here we go again! Sadly my darling Matilda Caught a fever and it killed her I gave up my dream To build a royal dynasty! When my son died Had no heir which was a bind! Gimme, gimme crown 'Cause next in line it's me! You can have it when I'm done! Ah-ha! So Empress Matilda never did make queen The throne went to my son! Knowing Mum, knowing you! Everybody happy? Good!