Half Man Half Biscuit

Asparagus Next Left

Half Man Half Biscuit


Tom: G

Album: Achtung Bono
Tabber: Woodshed


INTRO

Riff A

     A     D     G                  A       D     G
e|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
B|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
G|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
D|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
A|--0--0-0-5--5--2-3-2-3-2------|----0--0-0-5-5-5--2-------------------|
E|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|

     A     D     G                  A       D     G
e|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
B|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
G|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
D|------------------------------|--------------------------------------|
A|--0--0-0-5--5--2-3-2-3-2------|----0--0-0-5-5-5----------------------|
E|------------------------------|------------------3-------------------|

      A         D               G
We've just been performing a guerilla gig 

       A         D                  G
In the middle of another group's guerilla gig 

      A                 D           G
Well, surely that's the ultimate guerilla gig 

    A          D          G
But still they cried like girls



C                 C   B   A     G
Road signs on our country lanes may

G                D
Not be what they seem

C              C   B   A     G
Asparagus next left who says

G             D
"I've been up stream"

C                    C    B A G
Going down there for plum tomatoes 

G               D
It's not a good idea

C
For 'horse manure 200 yards' read

D
'Bottomless perdition'


Riff A



         A           D          G
When the club versus country dispute arose

      A             D               G
Small children were trampled in the exodus

   A        D          G
We all knew someone at primary school

     A           D        G
Who had a really powerful magnet



C            C    B A   G
New potatoes this a way an

G             D
Arrow points innocently

C               C  B   A     G
Dirt track to a darker place that's

G               D
What it says to me

C               C  B    A  G
Last chance for hanging baskets

G                     D
There even giving you clues

C
Fresh broad-beans and aubergines 

D
Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms 


GUITAR SOLO

   G                                   C
e|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|------------5---------------5------3---------------------------------|
G|--5/7--7--7---7----7--7---7---7--4---5-------------------------------|
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|---------------------------------------------------------------------|

    G                                  C
e|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|------------5---------------5------3---------------------------------|
G|--777--7--7---7----7--7---7---7--4---5-----------5/\-----------------|
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|---------------------------------------------------------------------|

    G                                                  C
e|--3--3-3-----3-3--5-3--------------3-3---5-3-------------------------|
B|--3--3-3-----3-3------5-3----------3-3--------5-3-----3--------------|
G|--------5b7-------------------5b7-------------------5---5------------|
D|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|---------------------------------------------------------------------|

     G                                                               C
e|---3-3----3-3----3-3----3-3------3-3----3-3----3-3-3--5-3--------------|
B|---3-3----3-3----3-3----3-3------3-3----3-3----3-3-3-------5-3---------|
G|-------5b7----5b7---5b7-----5b7-----5b7----5b7------------------5--5---|
D|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------------------------------------|

Riff A



    A    D               G
Whatever happened to the plumber's van

A      D       G
Humble amateur transit van

A           D    G
Vans have become ridiculous with their 

A     D        G
Strategies and logistics

C             C  B A    G
Veer soon for marmalade I

G              D
Don't think so Joe

C               C   B    A  G
And why are the tractors turning

G                  D
We really ought to know

C             C B   A     G
So stay alert minor roads

G                D
Remember Phyllis ...

C
Ooh, rhubarb let's go

      D                           A
She's still not been accounted for