Tom: Am (Intro E A E A) E A There was one in the gang who had Scalextric E A And because of that he thought he was better than you E A Every day after school you’d go round there to play it E A Hoping to compete for some kind of championship E A But it always took about fifteen billion hours to set the track up E A C G C G C G C G And even when you did the thing never seemed to work E A It was a dodgy transformer again and again E A A dodgy transformer again and again E A It was a dodgy transformer again and again E A E A E A A dodgy transformer that cost three pound ten E A So he’d send his doting mother up the stairs with the stepladders E A To get the Subbuteo out of the loft E A He had all the accessories required for that big match atmosphere E A The crowd and the dugout and the floodlights too E A You’d always get palmed off with a headless centre forward E A C G C G C G C G And a goalkeeper with no arms and a face like his E A And he’d managed to get hold of a Dukla Prague away kit E A Cos his uncle owned a sports shop and he’d kept it to one side E A And after only five minutes you’d be down to ten men E A Cos he’d sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger E A And come to half time you were losing four-nil E A Each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty E A So you’d smash up the floodlights and the match was abandoned E A And the dog would bark and you’d be banned from his house E A And your travelling army of synthetic supporters E A C G C G C G C G Would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin E A Now he’s working in a job with a future E A He hands me my Giro every two weeks E A And me I’m on the lookout for a proper transformer …errr