Where is Zog? (x8) Where is Zog? A grizzled face from the days of my youth Where is Zog? Taught me to behave in a manner uncouth Where is Zog? How to kill child, how to raise dog Somebody tell me where the hell is Zog? Where is Zog? Together we dove into oceans of war Where is Zog? Hacking and whacking through trenches of gore Where is Zog? Spewing death and hatred from a golden battle barge Wherever Zog is living I'm sure that he's living large On the world Scumdogia I first met general Zog On his way from burning the Satanic Synagogue Pocessions and his captive slaves were part of his great booty He took them to the Emperor, he always did his duty His battle cattle, bloated bleeding, simply was spectacular The lore of war, which he adored, was part of the vernacular I was one of many who begged to join his collegian They wouldn't take just anyone, unless you were norwegian! Where is Zog? (x8) I mounted the great porno cow And became a Scumdog I ritually defiled myself And signed the Captain's log Finally brought before Zog He slathered me with piss Draining his bladder took several years And not did one drop miss And then his eyes fell, upon mine They gave a hellish glow It wasn't love or hate you see, it was Well, I don't know It was hard to win his praise, despite each bloody victory No matter how many I slew he always was a dick to me Nothing succeeds like success so I got straight to work Crushing babies, torching worlds and acting like a jerk The war we waged destroyed the suns and left the planets flattened Simply put, it was the worst thing that had ever happened And Zog, our leader, glorious, sported a great erection! His battle skill notorious, we always took direction Urgh it's me, Zog! Uh, you some space shit on your windshield....(mumbles) Zog! We searched the star for you Your counsel we do crave We must crush the one called Syn and make his serfs our slaves We've crossed the very universe, Traversed the Great Starfield To find the one tha we call Zog Is...cleaning...our Windshield? Zog: You got any change? Space change? Oderus: Balsac! Lock plasma turret on target! Balsac: Is that, is that an order? Oderus: Oh, no, no, uh...More like a suggestion Balsac: You can't just order me to do things. Just cause you're louder than me doesn't make you the boss. Oderus: Uh, yeah, but, uh, you know, check it out Zog: Do you have any space change? Space change? Oderus: He's fucked Zog: Argh! You got any change? Space change? Oderus: You think maybe you wanna go ahead and, uh, lock that plasma turret on target now? Zog: Yo! Your windshield needs a squeegie! Balsac: Yeah, I guess... I guess you're right Zog: You got a lot of bird shit all over it! Balsac: Locking plasma turret. On target. Oderus: Thank you. Thank you