I'm so homesick And I'm three thousand miles from Times Square I hate cafe au lait This whole town is tres louse I'm Place Vendome-sick Fall asleep at the Folies Bergere It's all a lot of chichi I burp when I drink Vichy Here's to Tin Pan Alley A Yankee Rally A show like "Sally," And notwithstanding Rand McNally There's only one Broadway On the map of the U.S.A. Let's tell the gang we're coming Back to old-fashioned kisses and modern plumbing I've got those I'm-so-homesick blues I miss Marilyn Miller in "Sunny," Jolson down on one knee Mary Garden and Gatti-Casazza Lovely evenings at the Plaza Watching a fighter like Dundy Cheering for May Bundy Nora Bayes in a bill at the Palace Teddy Roosevelt's daughter Alice Theda Bara Fiske O'Hara Palais Royal Standard Oil Man O' War Barrymore Fritzi Scheff Mutt and Jeff Belmont Track Cracker Jack We've stayed away too long From gals like Sophie Tucker Texas Diamond won't be wrong With that greeting: "Hello, sucker!" Here's to Valentino The Park Casino The big Bambino The cigarettes called Melachrino Give me that old mainstem And a song by the great George M I feel my heart beat faster Anywhere in the neighborhood of the Astor I've got those I'm-so-homesick blues