Tom: C E|--0--|-----|--0--|--0--|-----| B|--1--|--0--|--0--|--1--|--1--| G|--0--|--0--|--0--|--2--|--2--| D|--2--|--0--|--2--|--2--|--3--| A|--3--|--2--|--2--|--0--|-----| E|-----|--3--|--0--|-----|-----| C G Em Am F and the 'C B Am' part is played like this (you can just play Am): E|-----|-0---| B|-----|-1---| G|-----|-2---| D|-----|-2---| A|-3-2-|-0---| E|-----|-----| [Intro] C G Em Am F G C C [Verse 1] C G Em Am Pregnant women are smug F G Everyone knows it, nobody says it, C because they're pregnant C G Em Am Effing son of a gun F G You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps now C that you're pregnant Am G I can't count all the ways how Am G You speak in clichés now [Skit] N.C. G: So, do you want a boy or a girl? N.C. O: Oh, it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy N.C. G: Really? 'Cause I don't feel like those two things are related at all. It's not like one or the other-- N.C. O: No, no, no, no, as long as it's healthy, hm! [Verse 2] C G Em Am I can't wait to hear someone say F "Don't care if it's brain dead, G Don't care if it's limbless, C If it has a penis" C G Em Am Pregnant women are smug F G Everyone knows it, nobody says it, C because they're pregnant Am Em This zen world you're enjoying Am G Makes you really annoying [Skit] N.C. G: So, is it a boy or a girl? N.C. O: Oh, we know, but we're not telling N.C. G: What are you gonna name it? N.C. O: Oh, we know, but we're not telling N.C. G: Who's the father? N.C. O: Oh, we know... but we're not... telling... [Verse 3] C G Em Am Bitch, I don't really care F G I was being polite since you have no life now C That you're pregnant C G Em Am You say you're walking on air F G You think that you're glowing, but you've just been ho'ing C And now you're pregnant Am Em You're just giving birth now Am G You're not Mother Earth now [Skit] N.C. G: Yeah, I have a lot going on. I got my degree, I moved, I wrote a novel-- N.C. O: Gosh, everything just seems so trivial now that I'm pregnant N.C. G: I also built a nuclear fusion reactor N.C. O: You know, I can't even remember what I did before I was pregnant. Everything just seems so meaningless, hm! [Verse 4] C G Em Am Pregnant women are smug F G Everyone knows it, nobody says it, C because they're pregnant C G Em Am Effing son of a gun F G You think you're so deep now, you give me the creeps now C that you're pregnant