There's a doctor livin' in your town There's a lawyer and an Indian, too And neither doctor, lawyer nor Injun chief Could love you any more than I do There's a barrel of fish in the ocean There's a lot of little birds in the blue And 'Neither fish nor fowl" says the wise old owl Could love you any more than I do No! No! No! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do I'm gonna warn all the *dead-eyed dicks* That you're the chick with the slickest tricks And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through Tell the doc to stick to his practice Tell the lawyer to settle his case Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face 'cause you Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do (No! No! No! it couldn't be true) (That anyone else could love you like I do) And, confidentially, I confess I sent a note to the local press That I'll be changin' my home address for you, follow through Tell the doc to stick to his practice Tell the lawyer to settle his case Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face 'cause you Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do No! No! No! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do I'm gonna send a hot *communeek* To warn the boys down at Cripple Creek That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak Tell the (doc!) to stick to his practice Tell the (lawyer!) to settle his case Send the (Injun chief!) and his tommy-hawk Back to little Rain-In-the-Face (woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo) 'cause you Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true That anyone else could love you like I do (Like I do) (Like I do) (Like I do) LIKE I DO!!! TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES *communeek* is an intentional mispronunciation of the word "communique". Also, a "dick" was slang for a detective or private eye. Per the dictionary, "dead-eye" means an expert marksman. A dead-eyed dick (or possibly "dead-eye dick") in the context of the song refers to someone "aiming at" or "with his sights on" someone...but like the doctor, lawyer, etc., Betty says that they can all just go peddle their papers elsewhere