At the proper name spelling bee, everyone loses You can't spell vermont, you can't spell massachusetts 'cause that was the name of a gift the judge wants to receive Two dogs when he was three F-u-r-m-o-n-t And tea was brewed, doughnuts were fried The refreshment table prepared when we arrived To find a show for us to play On an epic saturday The judge briefly explained: here's the plan You can take your tiny hand, Intermission is at 2:45 and play till three At the proper name spelling bee At the pollyville library, meetings began The first five contestants got out almost instantly and The six lost for not spelling james with a g The tears wiped on his sleeve were well beyond Believe what you want but i saw it that day The last girl in line dropped down and began to pray For a way to exit out of the mess and be spared from the rest At least that's what i guessed One by one, the children's turns were done An event that should be fun was turned to misery At the proper name spelling bee P-r-o-p-e-r-n-a-m-e-s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g-b-e-e P-r-o-p-e-r-n-a-m-e-s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g-b-e-e And as the band began to play I knew that things were not okay The looks upon the childrens' face Were emptier than outer space And as the band began to play I knew that things were not okay The looks upon the childrens' face Were emptier than outer space The proper name spelling bee was only a scam The cops busted in and they shouted "up with your hands! Tonight it ends, your crime spree" We had been deceived, so we began to scream The worst obscenities at the proper name spelling bee