They're barring the doors at the back of the hall It's cold in the winter, some freeze in the fall The banquet's the supper that's set for the swine If you're not at the gathering, and you've gone down the line You're the last to arrive, you're the first one to leave You don't give us the time, you don't drop us a line Well a dime in the phone is the best way I know You're the last to arrive, my friend you're the first one to go The truck picks you up on your front porch at night And you're back before sundown if you don't get blind We're not chaining you down to your castle tonight We're just trying to make you see some sort of light They'll all drink your health out of pewter and wood Get drunk in the hayloft playing dirty and good There's ten pounds of oxen were skewered on spit There'll not be an ounce if you don't make it quick