and sleep half the day when the drugs have gone away wake up and lazily fill the rest of the day just to recognize the pain and again end up with narcotics in veins that's the way it goes, decay of former hopes - decay of life the sands of time will make me disappear thrown up memories make their way through the clouds of my consciousness the empty spot at the wall in front of me makes changes vanish in the sand and after all makes nothing come undone run, everyday reaching goals along the way, that others yearn for there is no real movement but they don't see while going on until energy is drained, hasty life is taken towards end enjoy peace after breakdown, while the traces of pain and scraps of memories weaken, die away. another circle has closed, nightmares of emotional impression fade in fragile stability. another day of running away, one of these beginnings with the end already known. another scar, a mark on the way left behind. another dawn, the sun warming only the surface. the empty spot at the wall in front of me makes changes vanish in the sand and after all makes nothing come undone back in the silence of isolation the effort's worth a question rather than conviction all reasons crumble, in a raging commotion passions turn to dust as i recognize i am still myself. just myself.