Tom: Em
C
I came crawling home last night
F
like many nights before
C
I finally made it to my feet
F C
as she opened up the door
C G C
and she said You're not gonna do this anymore
C
She said I'm going to hire a wino
F
to decorate our home
C
so you'll feel more at ease here
G
and you won't need to roam
C
We'll take out the dining room table
F
we'll put a bar along that wall
C
and a neon sign will point the way
G C
to our bathroom down the hall
C
She said Just bring those Friday paychecks
F
and I'll cash them all right here
C
And I'll keep on tab for all your friends
G
their favorite kind of beer
C
And for you I'll always keep in stock
F
those soft aluminum cans
C
and when you're feeling macho
G C
you can crush'em like a man
C
She said We'll rip out all the carpet
F
and put sawdust on the floor
C
Serve hard-boiled eggs and pretzels
G
and I won't cook no more
C
There'll be Monday night football
F
on TV above the bar
C
and a payphone in the hallway
G C
when your friends can't find their car
D
She said I'm gonna hire a wino
G
to decorate our home
D
So you'll feel more at ease here
A
and you won't need to roam
D
We'll take out the dining room table
G
and put a bar along that wall
D
and a neon sign will point the way
A D
to our bathroom down the hall
D
She said You'll get friendly service
G
and varieted atmosphere
D
I'll slip on something sexy
A
and I'll cut it clear to here
D
Then you can slap my bottom
G
everytime you tell a joke
D
just as long as you keep tippin'
A D
we'll I'll laugh until you're broke
D
She said Instead of a family quarrel
G
we'll have a barroom brawl
D
When the ham's bear says its closing time
A
you won't have far to crawl
D
And when you run out of money
G
you'll have me to thank
D
You can sleep it off the next morning
A D
while I'm putting it in the bank
E
She said I'm gonna hire a wino
A
to decorate our home
E
So you'll feel more at ease here
B
and you won't need to roam
E
then when you and your friends get off of work
A
and you have a powerful thirst
E
well there won't be any reason why you
B E
can't stop off here first
F#
She said I'm gonna hire a wino
B
to decorate our home
F#
So you'll feel more at ease here
C#
and you won't need to roam
F#
We'll take out the dining room table
B
and put a bar along that wall
F#
and a neon sign will point the way
C# F#
to our bathroom down the hall
