Your partner is a lawn gnome Who lives online, and I know I'm quite inclined to stay home Call the outside an arsehole You barter well but polychrome light shines on my face The outdoors is grey You'll find I'm resigned, a shameful display "Hey kid, get a life" I do at times But from me you know you'll get no adventure It's safe to say I'm selfish in my pursuits All I work for constitutes As forced pats on the back And acknowledging that I can't fight the fact That I think I won't get any better Can't defend someone who never learns their lessons And in my condescending point of view, I blame you Thoughtless statements now too late to retract Now eat your humble pie off of the floor with your hands behind your back