Cretin

Uncle Percy

Cretin


Retarded Uncle Percy lives 
At his sister's place 
Her children help clean up his mess 
While she is away 
One day he hugged the family dog 
Tighter than he should 
Then dragged the dead thing by its leash 
Around the neighborhood 

Grieving in the cemetery 
Where they bury pets 
Uncle Percy yelps and barks 
Not understanding death 
He tries to cheer the children up 
He hates to see them cry 
His simple ways just make things worse 
Percy wonders why 

[Guitar solo: Martinez] 

He plans to resurrect the pet 
Dig it from the ground 
Present them with their faithful friend 
Their decomposing hound 
He finds his way back to the grave 
Very late that night 
Digs up the dog and skins it with 
His rusty pocketknife 

Stab into the rotting beast and strip it of its pelt 
Double-knotting shoelace strings, he ties it to himself 
Dropping down onto all fours, he hopes they can pretend 
This naked, bloody cretin is their favorite furry friend 

Wearing dog skin like a mask, he lumbers through the yard 
He chases birds and squirrels and toys - a growling, yelping tard 
He scratches at the children's window, hoping they will play 
Horrified, the children scream and scare Percy away