I just made a new buddy He and I bonded right away It was a piece of cake With no emotional stakes I got only good things to say About my friend's dad My friend's dad It's all the fun of having a dad Without the painful history [Bob] She has fun [Rebecca] And he's a literal drunk But that don't bother me 'Cause he's not my dad He's my friend's dad It's the healthiest relationship I've had with a man That fact I must confess He doesn't push my buttons Except the buttons on this cute dress [Bob] Doot, doot, doot [Rebecca] It's nothing but platonic His bigotry's ironic [Bob] I like you You barely complain, for a Jewish [Rebecca] Oh, you! If we were related We'd probably fight a lot Wait, what about Jews? [Bob] Here, have some more booze! [Rebecca] What was I saying? Oh, well! I forgot Glug glug! My friend's dad My friend's dad [Bob] And when she's not around I think about her naked [Rebecca] Huh? [Bob] Nothing, kiddo [Rebecca] My friend's dad!